PUMPKIN PATCH

Had a wonderful morning at the pumpkin patch with the triplets yesterday. I can't ever get enough of those babies...they are the cutest things ever. I am feeling so blessed I was able to enjoy their first pumpkin patch trip with them. Every moment with them is so precious to me. Despite my illness or how I was feeling I have had the best year ever because of them. When I am with them I don't even think about being sick or how I am feeling. My doctor is great...but the babies are what really heal me. Looking forward to the holidays with them and all the family. I worked a couple of part-time days last week. I was pretty worn out on Thursday after working 2 days but it was a good start and I am back at it tomorrow. Wasn't sure I would ever work again so it is a really good feeling. It is still a little weird and kind of scary but I am so happy to be back. I finished cycle 5 yesterday so have this week off of chemo. I will do my blood work Thursday and see my oncologist on Friday and spend the week getting stronger and prepared to start cycle 6 next Monday. After cycle 6 as I understand it I will have a new scan and at some point a bone marrow test to see if the cancer has cleared out of my bone marrow. The fight continues. I will win. I have gotten lots of messages about prayers. Thank you for all of the prayers. The power of prayer is awesome.

NUTRITIONIST

After I had my 4th scan at the end of September I started feeling bad. That was the week I was off my chemo for 7 days and that was the week of my good doctor visit and good report so I was confused why I was feeling so bad. Every day I became increasingly weak, lethargic, and became more and more down and out. I had to quit doing yoga because I just didn't have the strength. I quit walking or doing anything. I mostly rested. And I started feeling nauseated and had headaches. I finally went and saw my natural doctor. I thought maybe I had caught a virus or infection but he confirmed that I had not, but maybe had caught a little chill from the change of weather. I met a wonderful lady at my natural doctor's office and she referred me to a nutritionist who she said had helped her a lot. I decided it was worth a try since I couldn't handle feeling the way I did. I knew there was no way I would be able to work even the 2 days a week I had decided I wanted to try later in the month. Fortunately, the nutritionist researched and understood the chemistry of the drug I am on. It is killing the cancer but it is also killing all of my good bacteria. I was lacking enzymes to break down the food in my stomach so I was basically getting very little nutrition from my food. My adrenals were weak, my thyroid sluggish and I have what is called reactive hypoglycemia. She put me on a variety of supplements and homeopathics. She also put me on a strict nutrition program. I saw her Thursday morning and started the program Thursday afternoon. I am not 100% yet, but I feel much improved even in the last 2 days. I didn't have a stomachache tonight for the first time in forever. I seem to be gaining a little energy and I seem to be thinking a little clearer. I joke about chemo brain, but the nutritionist said actually the drug will cause "chemo brain." My brain has been in a fog for months and I didn't realize just how bad it was until it cleared out a little over the last couple of days. It is amazing and scary all at the same time. Of course I need the drugs to kill the cancer but I am so thankful I found someone knowledgable and able to help me with the side affects so I can start functioning better. Just one more step in my road to recovery. I apologize to everyone for my forgetfulness, my memory loss, my disconnect at times; my "chemo brain." There are so many things I thought about doing but just never could get it done, such as thank you cards. My goal is to get back to work a couple of part-time days a week and build from there. I will have to get a bone marrow test at some point, but I am moving in a positive direction. Baby steps.

MORE GOOD NEWS

Just got back from my doctor appointment. Although I am not at the complete response I had hoped for, I am close. I am so close that my doctor is going to hold off on the infusions for now. Normally if you are not at a complete remission after cycle 4 they have you do another round of infusions. My doctor wants me to keep taking the chemo pills for now and hopefully I will be at a complete response after cycle 5 and not have to have any further infusions. We compared my scans side by side and even since August you can see dramatic improvement. There are little areas of black, but not that much especially in comparison to where I started. They didn't have exact sizes or percentages, but my sister decided 90% improvement and that seems reasonable to me although clinically we don't know if that is accurate. So Monday I start cycle 5 and we will see what happens from there. I was so excited at the good news that I didn't think to ask when I would have another scan or when I would have the new bone marrow test, but I'm just not worried about that right now. I want to be at 100% and have all of the black off my scan. That is my goal and I'm thinking another cycle along with a little exercise, good nutrition and prayer I will be at a complete response sooner than later. I am going to keep seeing my natural doctor as well. So I decided I would try to go back to work a couple days a week and see how I do. I inquired of my doctor and he said that would be okay. So in a couple of weeks I am going to start working 2 days a week and keep building from there. I am nervous and scared to death at the thought...but I can do it and I am going to ease into it. I know it will be okay once I start doing it and my body gets use to it. Downey Brand has been so encouraging and supportive. They have made it possible for me to focus on my treatment and healing and not worry about my job. My Mom and Sis were with me and we were all really happy with the way the scan looked and my Doctor I could tell was relieved and super happy. He gave me a big hug. I always watch his reaction to things and it is a great relief to me when my Doctor is so happy. Even he seemed a little emotional about it all. So now I am going to take a nap and then go see my grandbabies and give them a super big hug. They are 9 months old today and getting more and more active every day. This will be good because I need to gain some strength right about now if I plan on keeping up with them. Could I be any more blessed? I am just so happy and so relieved that I have made such great progress in the last 3 and a half months and having those little angels in my life has been a great part of my treatment. I think they are one of the reasons why I am responding so well to treatment. Thank you everyone for your continued encouragement and support. I don't know how I would have done this without my family and friends. Love you all. Vicki