LOVE

Our word for the day at OHI is love. If you always do everything with love it makes for a much more peaceful and happy life. Despite all of the changes here at OHI, the raw foods, the wheat grass, juicing fast, and some people feeling not so great, I have never seen such a big group of people acting in such a kind loving way. Our word yesterday was gratitude and that is how you feel here, grateful for everything. Grateful for the food that is nourishing our bodies, the very well educated and experienced instructors, the staff, the beautiful grounds and flowers, the chapel, it is just such an awesome place and there is so much to be grateful for. I am not on the computer much because I am meditating in what free time I have and they say journaling is a much better connection to what you are feeling and saying. I am considered a second weeker now so the class load isn't quite as heavy but still have a lot of classes. I feel really ingrained in the program now and am looking forward to the rest of the week. It feels so good to be starving the cancer from all sugar, even fruit sugar, and then drinking the wheat grass that it hates. I love it! Off to soak and then listen to one of my new mediation tapes. Good night world and God Bless.

TUESDAY AT OHI

I am learning so much here at OHI about food, about my body, about emotions and healing. It is a whole mind, body, spirit program for sure. Today we started a juice fast. We drink juice for breakfast lunch and dinner. The fast will last until Thursday evening dinner. Got through the first day fine. Got my 38 ozs of water and 32 ozs of Rejuvilac down just fine. Also drank my morning and afternoon 2 oz of wheatgrass. I thought I would feel hungry but haven't been hungry at all. Did a yoga class and a stretch class today along with the 3 education classes. I am exhausted by the time we get out of the last class at 8:00 but feel so rejuvenated and hopeful. I learned today that cancer HATES wheatgrass so wheatgrass is going to be my best friend for awhile. I have heard testimonies and talked to people who had bone cancer, lung cancer, breast cancer and after doing this program and continuing it at home they are now cancer free. There are people here with all kinds of health opportunities, a couple of people have lymphoma like me. In one of our classes we completely studied the anatomy and how everything we do affects our body and organs. Another class talked about emotional detoxing and how each of our emotions affect a different organ in our body. It is very interesting stuff. Some people detoxing have had a little nausea and fatigue. Some just do not like the food. So far I have felt pretty good and I don't seem to have a problem with the food or the green juice. They have a special eating program for people with any kind of healing opportunity such as cancer, high blood pressure, diabetes, MS, etc. which cuts out all of the sugar so it doesn't include any fruit, beets or carrots. It is called a hypo diet and that is the one I am on. Miss my family and my grandsons but have to keep my eye on the bigger goal, to get healthy and help my body fight this cancer!

TRUST

Every day at OHI we get a new word. Today's word was Trust. Before our meals at 8:30, 1:30 and 6:00 we get in a circle, have fellowship, talk about our word, pray, hug and then go eat. With all we are trying to accomplish you really have to learn time management here, but they help you. Todays meals were more greens, sprouted lentals and beans, ferminted sauerkraut, sea cheese which isn't cheese at all, but sea vegetables and I'm not sure what else (quite tasty), the seed cracker again which I try to eat slowly and savor, and some quite good cold soup. You really have to chew this food, 20 to 30 times per bite. They encourage eating slowly, putting the fork down between bites. Quite different than the way I like to shovel my food down. I think I got the juicing down of the wheat grass. We use wheat grass for just about everything here some of which I won't discuss. We are required to drink 2 ozs twice a day but then you can't eat or drink anything else for an hour. That is were part of the time management comes in. You can't eat for at least 10 minutes after you drink water. You can't drink anything for 2 hours after meals. Depending on your body weight you figure out how much water you need in a day. Then there is the rejuvilac which is some type of water made from quinoa which is supposed to be a type of probiotic. We are required to drink 32 ozs of rejuvilac a day but can't eat or drink water for at least 15 minutes after the rejuvilac. I have a schedule so it is just a matter of sticking to it. They give us each a book with schedules, etc. so it helps a lot with time management. I am sufficiently exhausted and its time for rest. Good Night. God Bless.

Healing Opportunity, Sunday October 10, 2010

This is my new lingo. I don't have an illness, I have a healing opportunity. My latest scan wasn't the worst, but I have a little new area of tumors between my kidney and my spine so the doctor considers this a second relapse. The plan is to do a new scan in December and see how aggressive it is. Then we will decide what treatment is appropriate. Since it is considered a second relapse they have thrown bone marrow transplant in the mix of options. I have already met with who would be my transplant doctor and nurse who both seem very nice and able. They gave me a book to read about what the whole process would entail. I won't go into detail, but I will say the whole thing seems very aggressive and a real bad time for many many months. But we have to get our ducks in a row. I have to get a battery of tests to qualify and then they have to get insurance approval so they have already started the process "just in case" I need it. I will use it if I absolutely have to, but lets just pray that I don't. They took 7 vials of blood the other day and did an EKG and chest x-ray to get the party started. Now this journey has taken me to Optimum Health Institute in San Diego for 2 or 3 weeks. It is a mind, body & spirit program. You can check out their website at optimumhealth.org. I arrived yesterday excited and just a little nervous. I had my first lunch and dinner here along with a tour and orientation. My first two meals were as promised, raw live foods. Yesterday my plates were filled up with greens, sprouted lentils and beans, some type of hummus, dehydrated onions, a cracker that seemed to be seeds and I'm not sure what else but it was tasty. I've been eating fairly healthy so it wasn't a complete shock to my system but when I say tasty I mean tasty from a vegan viewpoint, I don't think if you are filling up with meat and carbs and salt it would be quite the same tasty you are use to. They are very specific about when you eat or even drink your water and today I will learn all about that and much more. It is Monday morning about 7. I woke up at 5 but got up at 6 and drank the suggested water. They are big on wheat grass and are the third largest producers of wheat grass in the U.S. So I am headed down to the juicing room to see if I can figure out how to juice a couple of ozs that they suggest I have before my 7:30 a.m. exercise class. Then breakfast will be at 8:30. My first class is at 9:30. I have classes morning, afternoon & evening and then 2 exercise classes a day. They want us to disconnect electronically if we can but I am going to try and blog in the evenings about my experience here. Cellphones are not allowed except for one designated spot or in the privacy of your room if you really need to use it. So I decided a nice balance would be to leave it in my room, not to carry it around, and then I can check for messages or check in with family when I need to when I am back at my room. Well I better get going...wheatgrass here I come...yummy!

TIME FOR NEW SCAN

Tomorrow morning I have my first scan since March. I have worked with a nutritionist all summer. I have been nervous the last couple of weeks but today I am at peace because I know I have done everything in my power to get well and give my body a chance to heal. I am excited to see my progress. My little natural healers will be 20 months old tomorrow. They just keep getting cuter. Love those little guys so much. Going to try to sleep. I know a lot of people have been praying for me. Keep up the prayers. I have turned it over to God.

NO MORE MEDS!

After talking to my nurse last Friday and hearing that the scan showed I had a fractured rib (which explains all of the pain I've been in since late February) and that a tumor in my low back has progressed I had a rough few days until I saw my oncologist yesterday afternoon. Since I have progression they are taking me off of the clinical trial which they were probably going to have to do anyway because of the neuropathy in my feet. That sounds bad, but actually my doctor and I both think this is a good thing. I will be off the meds and now I won't have to have the mandatory scans every other month. When they do those scans they inject a radioactive substance into me and it always takes me down a few notches. Since the beginning of February I have had either a cold, flu or pneumonia...and now after having the scan last Thursday I haven't been feeling well and have a bad cough again which aggravates my broken rib. The biggest relief was that my oncologist doesn't think the broken rib has anything to do with my disease. He studied the scan and there is no tumor around the rib, he doesn't see any lesions on the rib, so he thinks it is completely unrelated. The big question was how I broke my rib and the best we can come up with is most likely I coughed so long and hard when I had pneumonia that I broke it. It does show that the break is healing so I was very relieved to hear that. My Doc thinks it will take another few weeks to heal. We are in a wait and watch mode on the active tumor. The rest of my tumors have remained stable so it's really just the one that is rearing its ugly head. I hope it is ready for a beat down. I am looking forward to detoxing my body now that I am off the drugs and trying some natural therapies. My nutritionist is researching some other things for me to try. She has had other cancer patients very successful in using some other natural therapies. Of course, nothing comes with a guarantee but life has no guarantees so I am not worried. It is my job to give my body all of the tools it needs to heal and make sure I don't do anything to work against it. I am looking forward to healing and feeling better soon! Another thing that really pleased me was my cholesterol screening. My cholesterol levels were great; both my LDL and HDL were excellent. The nurse said you would never guess I am a cancer patient looking at my blood work. I am the healthiest cancer patient they have ever seen! It may not seem like a lot, but I will take every positive I can get at this point. Last, but foremost, an update on my little triplet grandson: Austin, Brody and Caleb are thriving and so precious. They are walking, climbing and more and more fun everyday. I have called them my little natural healers and they are all of that and more. Their Mom, Mattea, is my hero and although not an easy task she has managed to get them through their first year with a lot of love and patience. She is certainly my definition of a "Super Mom" and a very sweet daughter-in-law to boot! Scott and Mattea both do a great job and it is such a pleasure for me to see their little family blossoming. Thank you for all of the prayers. I know I am blessed. See everyone soon I'm sure!! Love, Vicki

PRAYER REQUEST

A lot has happened since my post in November. My scan in January wasn't as good but my doctor said not to worry about it. That was easier said than done. The November scan showed zero levels of cancerous activity but the January scan showed some low levels. There was also a questionable relapse in my low back near L5 which could be why I was having some low back pain. But my doctor questioned the radiologist's findings and he said it is normal for the activity to go up and down at times. I started working one day a week again on January 6th, but it was been a rough couple of months. A lot of people at work have been sick and first I got a cold, then the flu, then pneumonia. I went with family to AZ and with the warm dry weather there I finally got over the pneumonia. Unfortunately a couple of days after we returned I started having some horrible pain in my left side towards the back. It was about a level 10 for a good week and then with the help of my natural doctor I got it down to a 7 for a couple of weeks and the last week, after another visit to my natural doctor, I call it functional pain. It hasn't gone away but I am able to work my one day and go about my business for the most part ignoring the pain most of the time. I am trying to be super careful not to do anything to cause the pain to increase. It is so annoying and a little scary because none of my doctors seem to know what the pain is from and my oncologist doesn't think it is related to the cancer and/or treatment. I do, however, have neuropathy which is one of the bad side effects of the treatment they watch for. My Doc said at my February appointment that if I continue having trouble with my feet they may have to stop the meds. I finished Cycle 10 last night and now am on my week off. I have my next scan in a couple of days, Thursday, March 18th, and then I see my Doctor on March 23rd, and I will find out whether they are going to continue my treatments. So I am praying and I need lots of prayers that this scan is good and that my Doctor make a good decision regarding whether or not to continue my treatment. I am confident that my lymphoma is under control. I am a little bit confused and annoyed with the pain I am in but I am praying that it goes away sooner than later. It is not fun to deal with chronic pain but I am coping well I think. Thank you everyone for the prayers. God Bless. Vicki