One of life's interruptions

So, back to my illness. I try to see it as more of an interruption. One of life's interruptions that I am being forced to deal with. I had a scan on May 1st and a biopsy on May 4th. It is funny how I am not that great with remembering dates, but I rarely forget the dates of my tests. I can tell you the dates 9 years ago of my initial doctor visits, tests, biopsy, the day I got the biopsy results, the first date I went to UCD Cancer Center, the date of my first chemotherapy treatment. Once I started my treatments a lot of it is somewhat of a blur, but I remember the date I got the results of my retests after treatments ended. July 3, 2000, my celebratory anniversary date of my remission. I never forget those dates even after all these years. The day of my biopsy 18 days ago I was waiting with family and friends at the UC Davis Surgery Center. You learn to wait at hospitals and doctor appointments. Finally I was done being prepped for surgery, my cute little hospital cap and gown, and I remember just wondering how I got there, back in doctor world. I mean how in the world could this possibly be happening. When you get in doctor world it is hard to get out. Not that long ago I had been just doing my thing, working, exercising, and joyous over my 3 little grandbabies, and then boom, there I was, back in doctor world and hoping that the scan was wrong and the doctors were wrong, that there had been some sort of mistake and the biopsy would prove it. Nine years ago I was just so sure that they had made a horrible mistake and there was some other explanation for my lumps and symptoms, but I was wrong and I was shocked that I was wrong. And this time it was not a mistake, the biopsy proved what the doctors told me…that I had relapsed and now had Recurrent Refractory Follicular Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Refractory in medicine meaning unresponsive to medical treatment. Not good.